My stomach knotted up tightly in anguish as the awful reality of what was happening struck home.

I cannot begin to describe the paralysing emotions of bewilderment, shock and despair that came with the full impact of how these distressing events would change our lives for a long time to come. My heart sank like a lead balloon as I thought about the severe levels of stress and anxiety it would bring upon my beautiful wife, Debbie and our three school going sons, David, Warren and Matthew.

It all started at the turn of this century during a defining moment in my life when I decided for various reasons to return to the world of business, after serving in full time ministry for 18 years. I had previously worked in the field of human resource management and strategy.

I had signed into a business partnership late in 1999 which ostensibly provided a unique opportunity for me to spearhead the manufacturing and marketing of an exciting product for the building industry. After investing vast amounts of time, energy and money on the project over a period of two years, my business partner suddenly disappeared without a trace. Besides the upheaval and turmoil at the time, we stared almost disbelievingly at the reality of how many years of effort in building a foundation for the future had suddenly come to a grinding halt. A lovely home that was practically paid up, and all our investments disappeared overnight. Worse still, we found ourselves victims of fraud and hugely indebted for costs not of our own making.

Needless to say, I made my fair share of mistakes in drawing up the terms of reference in the partnership agreement.

One step at a time

We then started the agonising process of rebuilding our lives from “ground zero.” I established my own consulting business in management and strategic services. The business gradually developed over the years as we steadily began to piece our lives together, one step at a time. A breakthrough occurred in 2006 when I was offered the assignment of preparing a manufacturing concern for commercialisation. We were thrilled! There was light at the end of the tunnel. However, this was short-lived when all too soon disaster struck again. The 2008 global recession dealt a fatal blow to this fledgling enterprise and its holding company. Both Debbie and I again faced the dark spectre of unemployment, which appeared to stretch endlessly from month to month. Back to ground zero!

Debbie finally secured an excellent job and I set up a new consulting practice, specialising in business strategy. Then, towards the end of August 2010 we visited the doctor and walked out of her office in stunned silence. Test results had revealed that Debbie was suffering from breast cancer. The outcome was a protracted period of energy sapping chemo treatment, surgery then radiotherapy. This finally settled down and Debbie embarked bravely on the road to recovery. However, in January this year we received the heartbreaking news that the cancer had reoccurred. Debbie was admitted for surgery soon thereafter and is now preparing for a second series of chemo and radiotherapy.

Debbie and I felt a need to share this story of our arduous journey over the past decade or so with you, due to our extraordinary firsthand experience of the compassion of others. We have been overwhelmed by the amazing way in which our loving God and so many caring people have rallied around us, giving us the strength, courage and inspiration to ‘keep on keeping on’. We have also become more aware of the countless thousands of people whose suffering and trials would pale our own experience into insignificance. We pray for them more fervently now.

The Lord’s inspiring words to Joshua as he faced the daunting challenge of leading the entire nation of Israel into the Promised Land (Canaan) comes to mind. Notice Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” We read in 2 Chronicles 16: 9, “For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.”

Indeed the twists and turns of trepidation that followed us on the trail of suffering brought us into a closer and more intimate relationship with God in ways that we could not otherwise have imagined. We learned the lesson of total surrender in a profound kind of way.

I recently listened to an interview conducted with Alan J Torrance – professor of systematic theology at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland. He spoke about one of the names attributed to God, being Immanuel, meaning ‘God with us’. He went on to talk about the importance of the ‘where’ question rather than the ‘why’ questions we tend to ask. While in some instances the why questions remain a mystery, the question of where is God in our suffering, is abundantly clear. God is with us in the midst of grief and suffering. David brings this out tenderly in Psalm 23:4. “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.”

We certainly had our moments of doubt when we would cry out, “where are you Lord when we need you most?” Yet, we now look back and remain ever grateful for the boundless love and friendship of the Triune God who never leaves or forsakes us.

We have also been deeply touched by the softer side of humanity. The support of family, friends and people we had never met before, have been and continue to be there for us, especially now during Debbie’s difficult moments in her fight against cancer. So many treasured memories, such as the day when her colleagues arrived at work wearing scarves as a token of their love and support. And the incredible way in which our three sons and family members have walked with us in constant support, every step of the way. And our church family as well as so many others in the greater community have provided a wellspring of hope through their prayers, cards, phone calls and personal visits.

An opportunity to encourage

Somehow, we could not help but sense a divine spirit of community in all of this. A unique kinship involving the Triune God in participation with a group of caring people, fused in the unity of his divine love. After all, we are created in the image of God. Genesis 1:27 states in Today’s New International Version: “So God created human beings in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Is this not what real community is all about; a deep-rooted relationship with God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and one another.

We all have an opportunity to reach out and encourage others in their time of need. Whether it is keeping in touch through emails, phone calls and personal visits or simply listening. Paul inspires us in 1 Thessalonians 5:11 to “encourage one another and build each other up” and in verse 14 “encourage the faint-hearted”. The “faint-hearted” means the “small-souled”…those who have had their spiritual wind knocked out through adversity.

The Greek word for encourage is parakaleo, which literally means “to call alongside”…to strengthen by giving appropriate aid. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word encourage in the transitive verb as “to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope.”

Indeed, we belong to one another in relationship with the Triune God and are privileged to practice the love of God by being there for each other; family, friends, loved ones, colleagues and communities. This bond of fellowship is amplified in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

Let’s be a light switch of encouragement among the people that cross our paths every day, especially those who are going through a scary time in their lives.