I was busy doing my weekly grocery shopping when a soft, cultured voice asked me, I wonder if you could help me?
I turned to see a neatly dressed woman somewhere in her forties, and thought she might be asking for directions to some place. That would be easy, I knew the area pretty well.
I was totally taken aback when she explained that she had no money, no food and was presently living in a room with several other people. Could I perhaps buy her some food, maybe a small roasted chicken?
Was her story true, or was it a well rehearsed line which would net a good profit at the end of the day? I shall never find out, but just in case, I gave her a smaller amount of money, but definitely not enough for a roast chicken. She didnt seem particularly impressed.
On another occasion a few years ago, we stopped at a set of traffic lights in the city, pulling up behind a shiny red sports car. The driver must have been in a good mood. We watched amazed, as he handed three young street children a R100 note each. They jumped up and down in delight, but before the lights changed, a tough looking male adult demanded the money from them. So much for their brief moment of happiness!
In most South African towns and cities, a motorist approaching a major traffic intersection will be met by a number of people vying for his or her attention. Vendors are there selling anything from plastic bags to coat hangers; small children rattling coke tins for donations; women with babies on their backs all in need of our help. On one hand its heartbreaking, on the other hand, how can we possibly make a difference? Our small donation is surely just a drop in the ocean of need. What if we dont respond to the outstretched hand? What if we just drive on? We dont even know if the people are genuinely in need, or just on to a profitable occupation. Then again, perhaps this is the only job they can get. And theres not much time to make up your mind. The lights are changing and you must either give or go.
A different society
As Christians, perhaps we sometimes have guilty and uneasy feelings, remembering the words of Jesus in Matthew 5:42, Give to the one who asks you and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
Did Jesus mean we should give to literally everyone who asks us, or was he describing a different society and its needs?
In Jesus day, the poor and needy, the crippled and the blind were known to the general population. Unlike todays fast moving, impersonal society everyone, even the poorest of the poor were known by name. When Jesus began preaching in his home town, he and his family were already well known (Matthew 13:55).Perhaps this is why he gave a name to the beggar in the parable of Lazarus and the rich man. In those days, the able-bodied but destitute person could usually become a slave to the more affluent members of society. Beggars were often blind or crippled and their needs were well known and undeniable. Neither could anyone board a bus or train and travel to a convenient spot where the pickings were likely to be plentiful. They could not have lived a life of duplicity without being discovered. What Jesus meant was that we should help where possible, and not close our hearts to those in need. He did not intend that we become potential victims of all who cross our paths.
The joy of giving
Today there are organized charities run by dedicated and caring people, all of which desperately need funds. We can be reasonably sure our donations will be used wisely by these institutions, but what about that personal, face to face interaction with those less fortunate than ourselves? Giving money to a night shelter or a soup kitchen is commendable and much needed, but if we never actually hand a sandwich to a hungry person, or slip a coin into an outstretched hand, we will not experience the joy and compassion of personal giving.
Of course, these small donations are no more than a drop in a bucket. They only help for a brief moment and we will not have solved the persons problem. Tomorrow he or she will be out on the streets again. But we may have given the hungry person a bit of extra energy enough to walk to another street, and perhaps get a casual job.
So, do I regret giving the lady a banknote in the supermarket? Not at all. If she was genuine, I have helped a little. If not, she will have to work very hard to earn a living this way. As for the driver of the sports car, he may check the surroundings before being so generous again. Its likely the R300 went towards drug purchases. The little boys would only have received a pittance, if anything at all.
Our social problems are huge, beyond the ability of the best of governments to solve satisfactorily. But sometimes, giving feels good and does good. Its up to each of us to use wisdom and compassion, but to realize that we are not robots programmed to hand over money in each and every situation.
We should not feel guilty when we decide to say no.
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