Im sure many of you know the story in Genesis 19 of Lots wife. But what was it that made her look back and turn into a pillar of salt?
Did she glance over her shoulder towards her beautiful house and lovely possessions now being destroyed by the burning sulphur which had begun to rain down on the city?
Or was it the thought of losing her dear friends who had not heeded Gods warning that he would destroy the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah? Perhaps it was the loss of her role in society giving her life purpose and meaning a respected wife, a generous benefactor, an educator of others, a wise counsellor?
We are not told the reason, and we can only guess. But whatever it was, according to the Bible story it cost her her life. She hesitated and was turned into a pillar of salt.
The last two years have caused me to hesitate too. This period in my life has included some milestone events. A watershed birthday in fact, turning sixty! retirement and loss of my role as a teacher. Also, a drive each week to help care for my mother who still lives in the old family home where I spent my turbulent and angst-ridden teenage years. Discovering my birth family, (I am adopted); and reconnecting with some old friends one of whom got in touch with me after forty years.
It seems that sixty is a watershed birthday for many and inspires the urge to reconnect with lost acquaintances. For me this has included, among others, two old boyfriends. (I flatter myself in fact they were boys I had a crush on at different times. Now they are husbands, fathers and grandfathers, getting on in years, with and without hair!) Goodness thats a minefield of memories!
Each event has been a reminder of the passing years. It has been all too easy to get entangled in the world of missed opportunities, crossed wires, broken dreams, fading looks and unfulfilled ambitions. Poor Lots wife! I cant help but feel a little sorry for her.
So what is our response to be?
Its hard when we live in a world that has a skewed understanding of the passing of time. As women we are encouraged to stop the clock, to hold back the passage of time so it doesnt show.
But alongside this is the general encouragement from the media to look back. There seems to be a current obsession with genealogy, as well as the desire to reconnect with old friends through social network sites. But it can be dangerous territory and can open a Pandoras Box of revelations which then must be processed and dealt with as I have found out.
Just a history book?
But dont we also need to look back? Surely nobody can object to the custom of showing gratitude for the lives of loved ones no longer here but remembered in photographs displayed at home, or celebrating special events annually? Or, in fact, any other way that history is recorded: nationally, locally or personally. Surely it cant be wrong, can it? After all, the Israelites carried the bones of their ancestors with them to the Promised Land. And isnt the Bible itself one long history book?
But wait. Its more than a history book. It is also the living, breathing word of a loving God who cares about our past, present and future. We must be able to learn from its pages how we are to respond to the events of the past the events that have formed and shaped us and have left their mark on our lives for better or worse.
Although sometimes we wish we could rewrite history, we cannot undo the past, but surely we can learn from it.
Was that the mistake of Lots un-named wife? She clung on too tightly to her past and missed out on the future God had prepared for her? Perhaps she couldnt trust that there was a future to look forward to, away from the security of the life she had come to know.
I have been in danger, at times, over the past two years, of turning into a pillar of salt just like Lots wife. I have felt myself drowning in a sea of painful memories and questions about my origins. I have been near to despair at times. Through it all, there have been good and faithful friends, willing to come alongside me in companionship and prayer. I also have a wonderful family who love me as I am, warts and all. It is far more than I deserve.
Then, I remind myself, God loves me. He made me, he knit me together in my mothers womb, he had a place prepared for me on this earth and has work, beyond retirement, for me to do. He knew all about the painful times and in his hands, these events can be redeemed and used for good.
In Isaiah 43: 18-19 we read: But the Lord says, Do not cling to events of the past or dwell on what happened long ago. Watch for the new thing I am going to do. It is happening already you can see it now! I will make a road through the wilderness and give you streams of water there (Good News Bible, emphasis mine).
Jesus calls us to be a different kind of salt and light in the world (Matthew 5: 13-16).
So let us be encouraged by these words to know that, if we are willing to keep moving with God, our tendency to stagnate, to petrify into pillars of salt can be transformed into something creative, something wonderful and life-giving instead.
Reprinted with kind permission of Plain Truth UK