What do you mean healthy competition?

by | Mar 9, 2023 | 2015 | 0 comments

I couldn’t help but appreciate the gracious manner in which my opponent played the game.  True sportsmanship in action!  He displayed a friendly courteous attitude, easily giving me the benefit of the doubt when a point could have gone either way.  I was thoroughly beaten, yet walked away with the greatest respect for a first class player of the sport.

This was all in the spirit of a highly competitive squash tournament in which I found myself playing against a top league contestant.  I felt privileged to have had the opportunity to engage with the masterful strokes of a champion.  

Holding my breath in anticipation, I later watched him enter the court to play in the finals, looking relaxed and in control of the situation.

Then I stared in utter disbelief!  A hostile attitude suddenly appeared out of nowhere, followed by a litany of vile words pouring out of my hero’s mouth as he began to lose his grip on the game, challenging the referee on any point that could be contested.  He angrily threw his racket across the court on one occasion.  What a letdown!  My hero moved to zero in quick time.   

While an incident of this nature accentuates the darker side of human nature, it might be helpful to take a closer look at the commonly held view that ‘healthy competition’ is good.  Yes!  Most probably agree that competition teaches the value of good sportsmanship or how to cope with disappointment in the face of defeat or how it plays a vital role in raising standards as iron sharpens iron.  

The thread of competition weaves its way through virtually every facet of society, whether in sport, business, religion, the political arena, among siblings or the macro dynamics of national economies and international trade.  And what about the shocking revelations of how the world’s largest soccer body, FIFA, disgraced the game over decades of corruption, bribery, money laundering and racketeering.    

A helicopter view of how competition often plays itself out in the various sectors of our ‘advanced civilisation’ is troubling.  Disheartening stories of once admired sporting heroes succumbing to performance enhancing drugs, and power hungry industrialists ruthlessly clamouring over one another to reach the top, and let’s not forget the vicious machinations of politicians…opposing camps putting on the boxing gloves and delivering hard blows to one another, especially at election time.

Second fiddle

It is disturbing to sometimes observe that success, in whatever form, is accompanied by an air of superiority or twinge of envy, depending on which side of the fence one is sitting.  Few seem to like playing second fiddle, even if they are among the best.

We also have numerous Biblical examples of how competitive attitudes tear families apart.  There is the first recorded murder of how Cain could not contain his jealousy over Abel, and so bludgeoned him to death.  Then Jacob’s favourite son, Joseph.  His brothers, seething with envy, threw him into the pit and conspired to kill him, but finally decided to sell him into slavery.   

It reminds me of Paul’s comments in Galatians 5, “You, my brothers and sisters were called to be free.  But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love…if you keep on biting and devouring each other watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.  So I say, live by the Spirit… Notice Paul’s emphasis on living by the Spirit and serving one another in love.

Even the disciples challenged Jesus to divulge who would be the greatest in the Kingdom. Jesus’ response was unexpected, yet profound.

True humility

In Matthew 18 the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”  He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And He said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.”

Later in Matthew 20:20-23 we read that the mother of James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to Jesus with her sons. She knelt respectfully to ask a favour.  “Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in the Kingdom.” Parents naturally want to see their children succeed. Jesus called them together and said, “You know that in this world kings are tyrants, and officials lord it over the people beneath them.  But among you it should be quite different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must become your slave.”

Here we learn powerful lessons of authentic humility and servanthood, the very opposite of being motivated by power, position or prestige.   

Renowned lecturer and author, Alfie Kohn, who speaks widely on human behaviour, education, and parenting, notes the following; “Even winning doesn’t build character; it just lets a child gloat temporarily.  Your value is defined by what you’ve done and not who you are. Worse — you’re a good person in proportion to the number of people you’ve beaten.  In a competitive culture, a child is told that it isn’t enough to be good — he must triumph over others. The more he competes, the more he needs to compete to feel good about himself.”

He adds “When I made this point at a talk show on national television, my objections were waved aside by the parents of a seven-year-old tennis champion named Kyle, who appeared on the program with me. Kyle had been used to winning ever since a tennis racket was put in his hands at the age of two. But at the very end of the show, someone in the audience asked him how he felt when he lost. Kyle lowered his head and in a small voice replied, ‘ashamed.’”

Paul adds in 2 Corinthians 10:12-13 (ESV), “Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.”

In reality, comparing ourselves with others and striving to become better than others lies at the heart of our competitive nature.

The real game changer

And so, how do we respond to others as well as our inner selves in a competitive environment?  In John 15, Jesus highlights the need for us to remain spiritually grounded in Him, “I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”  May I suggest that developing our talents in His presence, in harmony with growing in the fruits of the Holy Spirit, is the ‘real game changer’ to responding to competition God’s way…with humility, grace and dignity.   

The teachings of Christ in these passages presents us with a unique life changing opportunity to grow gracefully as individuals while sharpening our God given talents in this competitive rat race. Jesus talks about the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit later in the chapter, our Comforter, which in the Greek means ‘one called alongside to help’.  Indeed, the Holy Spirit walks with us, inspires us to grow in Christ and in so doing we glorify the Father.  Who we are in Christ is what makes all the difference!  

Developing our talents with Christ at the centre, transforms how we think and do competition.  The golden rule in Matthew 7:12 comes to mind, “In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you.” It’s about allowing the love of God to take root in our lives, abiding in Him, and responding in His love as we engage with others, even in a competitive environment.

How would you like to be treated when you suffer disappointment?  How about a word of encouragement and mentoring, even from your opponents?  And we all appreciate sincere smiles of congratulations when others rejoice with us in our success, rather than having to grapple with feelings of jealousy coming back at us.      

Paul shows how we can rise above our selfish human tendencies later in Galatians 5; “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Those who belong to Jesus Christ have crucified the sinful nature and its passions and desires.  Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.  Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.”    

We grow together by treating one another with dignity, respect and grace.  The indwelling love of God enables a healthy desire to bring out the best in each other…being there for one another through the ups and downs of successes and disappointments.

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