A few years ago while in a church in Johannesburg, the youth debated the question of whether Christian youth should date people of different faiths.
Someone brought up the example of Samson and Delilah in Judges 14: 3: But his father and mother asked him, why do you have to go to those heathen Philistines to get a wife? Cant you find a girl in our own clan among our people? But Samson said to his father, she is the one I want you to get for me. I like her. (Good News Bible)
We know what happened to Samson.
A wise aunt from the congregation in Johannesburg used to talk to us about these things, but I still saw nothing wrong with dating or being in a relationship with someone who is not a Christian.
One day I had a heart to heart talk with another aunt who I knew was having problems in her marriage. Relatives had been discussing the matter, and I had heard the whole story before. But after talking to her I realized something else. If she had known that her husband and his family believed in ancestor worship and African rituals, and if she knew that his mother was an inyanga, (Witch doctor), I do not think she would have married the man.
Her mother-in-law did not like her; she did everything possible to annoy her hoping she would leave, but she stayed. Then she started getting sick. She was told she must become a sangoma to get well. It was the ancestor spirit in her that was making her sick. Her mother-in-law organized everything for her to be initiated as a sangoma, but she packed her bags and went home. She told her family that if her in-laws want their lobola money (bride price) returned, they should pay it back because she was not going back to her husband. She filed for divorce.
The husbands religion
African customs prescribe that as a woman you are expected to adopt your husbands religion. A neighbour of mine who was a Christian, was forced by her in-laws to accept that their familys ancestry shrub (used for ancestor worship) should be planted in her backyard. She naturally objected to this, but her in-laws argued that her husband was the first-born son, so it must be planted in her yard. They went ahead and planted it, and held their rituals and ceremonies in her yard.
I know of a young lady who was raised in a Christian household, who had a baby with a non-Christian guy. The guy and his family wanted to perform a ceremony for introducing the baby to the ancestors, as it was done when they were born. The ladys family had a problem with that. Such things were never done in their family.
In a situation similar to the one above, a non-Christian guy had a baby with a pastors daughter. I asked him whether he wanted his girlfriend to baptize the baby or if it mattered to him at all. He said he did not mind what they did, but when the time came for him and his family to do the family rituals and ceremonies for the baby, her family should accept it as well. I pointed out to him that they are Christians and do not believe in those things. He asked me who is the babys father, what is the babys surname? As far as he was concerned, that should have settled the matter.
When dating someone whom you are attracted to, and with whom you share interests and see eye to eye with on lots of issues, religious beliefs can seem a minor concern. In fact the question may not even arise as you share time together, moving in the same circle of friends etc. But it is wise to know where your dates values and beliefs are. It could have serious repercussions. In Pauls second letter to the Corinthian church, he says: Do not be yoked together with unbelievers Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (verse 14).
I am not saying Christians do not have problems in their marriages but when you have different faiths its even more difficult. When a baby is born the non Christian partner will want to perform rituals that were done when he or she was born. As a Christian this would obviously cause a huge problem because you do not believe in those things.
As young people, when we are dating we need to ask ourselves the question: If this guy/girl does not believe in God- if he/she does not worship God, who does he/she believe in, and who does he/she worship?
It could be vitally important to your future.
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