Liar liar, your pants are on fire, is a childhood saying that remains lodged in my memory to this day.
Ironically, this is the stuff of popular soapies, movies and tabloids.
Yet sadly, lying has become a scourge that has spread its tentacles into the very fabric of our modern day civilisation. Reading about this topic from a number of different sources, highlighting studies that reveal the ease with which people lie so apparently sincerely, almost as effortlessly as breathing, left me feeling deeply troubled.
The book entitled The Day America Told the Truth by James Patterson and Peter Kim (Prentiss Hall Press 1991), highlights the results of a survey which reveals that 91 percent of people lie routinely about matters they consider trivial and 36 percent lie about important matters; 86 percent lie regularly to parents, 75 percent to friends, 73 percent to siblings, and 69 percent to spouses.
Spouses may lie to one another in the name of keeping the peace or not feeling safe telling the truth. It is often because they are worried about rejection, embarrassment or guilt because of something they did wrong, which violated expectations of trust and commitment. The reasons, agendas and motives for lying are never ending, rearing their ugly heads across all sectors of society; from individuals and communities to businesses, organisational and religious bodies as well as governments. A Time magazine cover story concluded, Lies flourish in social uncertainty, when people no longer understand, or agree on, the rules governing their behaviour toward one another. 1
Mark Twain said: A lie can travel halfway around the world while truth is still lacing up her boots.
God hates lies
God speaks strongly of this malady as two of seven things he hates in Proverbs 6:16-19. There are six things the Lords hates, seven that are detestable to him: a lying tongue…and a false witness who pours out lies. This is again emphasised in Proverbs 22:12 The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.
Think for a moment about how this form of deceit can bring distress to a treasured relationship you may have enjoyed with a friend, loved one, colleague or neighbour. And the best place to start is with you. How do you feel emotionally on the inside when you discover that you have been seriously lied to or about by someone you regarded as trustworthy? Suddenly the trust that was so precious to the relationship bursts into flames.
We are all vulnerable to allowing this insidious social epidemic to sweep into our lives from time to time, wounding relationships that often take a long time to heal. Even Abraham lied to the Egyptian Pharaoh when he travelled into Egypt during a period of famine. He explained that his beautiful wife Sarah was his sister. Actually, Abraham feared for his life in case the Pharaoh would want to lay claim to his wife by having him killed. This did not do his reputation any good whatsoever! He was summoned by the Pharaoh who challenged him and said What have you done to me…why did you say she is my sister so that I took her to be my wife? Now then, here is your wife. Take her and go! (Genesis 12: 10-20)
Good old fashioned honesty and straight talking, as hard as it may be when circumstances are tenuous, inspires trust and credibility in a uniquely rewarding way, leading to enduring relationships and lifelong friendships.
Be true to yourself
World renowned professional speaker, trainer and consultant Brian Tracy notes, Perhaps the most valued and respected quality you can develop is a reputation for absolute integrity. Be true to yourself and other people in your life. Here is a question for you to ask and answer. What kind of a world would my world be if everyone in it was just like me? 2
This is effectively summarised in the golden rule of Matthew 7:12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you. We are mostly aware of the harmful consequences of broken trust when others lie to us or when we lie to them. Conversely, treating others with truth and integrity as we would want to be treated, can only bring out the best in a relationship.
Growing and maturing in our relationship with the Lord is a vital key to rising above what can so easily become a deeply entrenched character defect. Truth flows from the abiding trust we enjoy in our relationship with the ever faithful Triune God. Being rooted firmly in Christ who strengthens us with power through the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit, enables us to internalise the remarkable blessing of dealing truthfully with our fellow human beings (Ephesians 3:16-20).
Emily Dickinson once remarked that Truth is such a rare thing; it is delightful to tell. What a sad indictment on the current state of humanity. And what a different world it would be if social norms were based on the bedrock of truth and integrity. Indeed, truth should form the core of who we are in Christ as we express the love of God towards one another every day.
Pinocchio
The story of Pinocchio is a childhood tale that stands tall in my memory. Pinocchio is often a term used to describe an individual who is prone to telling lies, fabricating stories and exaggerating or creating tall tales for various reasons. Pinocchio is known for having a short nose that becomes longer when he was under stress, especially while telling a lie. He is a fictional character in the 1883 childrens novel, The Adventures of Pinocchio, by Carlo Collodi. Pinocchio was carved as a wooden puppet by Geppetto in a small Italian village and dreamed of becoming a real boy. In the story Jiminy Cricket became his official conscience to tell him right from wrong, for, if Pinocchio proved himself brave, truthful and unselfish, he would be transformed into a real boy. Being consciously aware of the presence of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit in our lives each day, will give us the courage to serve one another in truth and love. The apostle Paul explains in Galatians 5: 16, So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.
Psalm 32:2 tells us Blessed are those…in whose spirit is no deceit. Jesus calls on us to set aside our self serving deceitful nature and love others genuinely as he loves us. Allow God to revolutionise you heart with his divine nature as you infuse every relationship with truth and His love.
1. Time Magazine 5 October 1992: Lying everybodys doin it by Tim C Mazar
2. The 21 success secrets of self made millionaires Executive Books